Release The Plan And Expand Into Your Vision

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/usc-radio-productions-3/2013/12/17/hugs–trusting-your-inner-desires–even-if-you-havent-before

My early 40’s were spent chasing my dream of running the “perfect half marathon”. I have multiple training journals outlining my stretching and strengthening routines as well as the countless miles I spent on the roads, all with the sole purpose of producing a speedy and respectable race time that I could be proud of. My training plan was my “end all be all”. Nothing kept me from a training run; not inclement weather nor an unhealthy body. I devised a plan, put on blinders and went about my training with absolutely no deviations. As soon as one exhausting race was over, I started doggedly training for the next. This rigidity ended up being my undoing. Eventually, training while injured brought an abrupt end to the running phase of my life. The only way I was willing to release myself from the unrelenting bond I had with my plan was through the pain of a fairly serious injury. I can’t say that I was entirely unhappy to hear the news, either. While I’ve missed my running buddies in the ensuing years, I felt a huge sigh of relief when told it was time to curtail my plan.

In my humble opinion, plans are for the fearful. Plans are what we construct when we don’t have faith that our dreams will come to fruition without rigid confines.  Plans are the ABC’s of making something happen. As I’ve gotten older I have less interest in making things happen, and more interest in visioning my dreams and allowing them to happen. Visions hold layers of dreams, loosely held, that allow for course corrections through their unfolding. Had I held the vision of running a great half marathon, I might still be running today. Visions absolutely include a desired result but don’t put a premium on it occurring in one specific way, as does a plan.

Recently, I had the opportunity to experience my dream of being a great motivator; a dream I’ve envisioned for nearly 2 years. Because I’ve let go of plans and now allow visions to guide my process, this dream presented itself quite unexpectedly. Unlike my running dream where I was completely dogged in my approach with a plan, I allowed myself to be completely open to this experience while feeling into new dreams at the same time. The result was the complete opposite of what happened at the end of each of my races. Rather than feeling emotionally and physically drained, I enjoyed this dream feeling completely exhilarated and ready for more. Because I’m allowing my dream of being a motivator to unfold within a vision, I haven’t felt the need to keep a choke hold on a plan of the exact way it should come into my life. With that said, I had the beautiful opportunity to speak on HUGS Talk radio show with Antiqua Lisha Libbey, and motivate through the air waves. I will leave you with a recording of the show and encourage each of you to think about releasing your plans for the expansion that can be found within a vision.

To Move Or Not To Move

Like many people, I have a highly developed work ethic, sense of conduct I deem acceptable and set of “rules” I strive to live by. I’ve spent nearly 47 years perfecting the way I “should” live, and yet occasionally find myself rebelling against some of the rules I try to abide by. For example, I know I should exercise and yet at this point in time I absolutely will not do so. To no success, I’ve had many energy sapping inner struggles around why I won’t just go ahead and do what I know is good for my body. I struggle with this “should” mightily because at one time I spent countless hours every week lifting weights and running, and yet I can’t spur myself to take even the first step of a leisurely walk now.

Lucky for me, I have an amazing body image coach in Michelle Hastie and she really gets me. On one of our recent calls, I decided to see if she could help me gain clarity around my self perceived laziness.  Michelle asked why I felt like I “should”, or “have to”, exercise. Should and have to never feel good and automatically indicate something we believe we need to do regardless of whether or not we desire to. So, the answer to why I felt I should be exercising was very important. After thinking about it, I knew that my reason centered around the fact that at one time strict exercise was the way that I controlled my weight. In fact, I had such great control over my exercise that I knew exactly how many miles I had to run to maintain the weight I desired to live at. The strict adherence I had to exercise kept me looking the way I wanted to but it took very little time before the miles took their toll. Prior to a big half marathon I’d planned on running, I was diagnosed with a pelvic stress fracture. The amount of physical pain it created was incredible, but the amount of emotional pain I endured due to the fact that I knew I’d start gaining weight immediately was devastating.

What Michelle recognized was that I associate exercise with pain and no one wants to endure pain if given the chance not to. She also got to the bottom of my exercise “why”. For me, exercise has never been associated with enjoyment but as means to looking the way I desire. For a short time I was a member of a running group, and while I truly valued the friendships I made, I put pressure on myself to run as well as everyone else in the group. I associate running with competition and pain, two things I’d like to avoid at my age. Michelle also realized that I truly do want to exercise. Regardless of my weight, there still is a part of me actually longing to move. Every time I see a person running, I feel a tug at my heart; not out of guilt but because I remember how good moving can feel if I approach it from a sense of fun. Michelle’s assignment for me was to make a list of different types of movement I know I like along with several new options I’d like to try. Even though I’m not at a weight that feels comfortable on my joints to run, I can absolutely get out and walk, which is exactly what I intend to do. I’m also looking at possibly learning how to dance! Woohoo!!

It took another person analyzing my thought and action patterns to see through to the fact that I truly do desire to move. Not because of the number on a scale, but because of the way that it helps me feel alive and exhilarated. I spent 5 years grappling with this exercise dilemma which took less than an hour for Michelle to help me sort out. I can’t stress enough the importance of having a trusted confidante or coach to bounce ideas off of.  And thank you, Michelle, for your help in understanding my TRUE desire for movement in my life!!